Then she never (EVER) bleeds, and she never fucks

What I'm afraid of is the fact that maybe someday my feelings will change. Now I can barely understand my feelings. If they change I won't understand this feelings anymore and I will have to understand new feelings that will change eventually like the skin of a snake. So life goes on and on and on and that freaks me out. I don't want new feelings, but I need them. I don't want to be understanding new thoughts but it's something good, useful. Why, dear God, everything has to change for our own good and can't stay just the way it started and still be something good? Why, dear God, some of those changes are bad and don't end up bringing something good?
I wish I was somewhere else. I always want to be somewhere else. Sometimes I wish I was in a coma so I could be inside my own perfect world, inside my mind. But, first, that is not how the brain or at least the conscience of a human works during a coma and, second, if that happened there's a possibility of me going to the dark place of my mind, not the good one. So, basically, I could be days, weeks, months or years in some mental suffering that is apparently endless and nameless. Just hell inside of me.
Hell is inside every single human being. There's no way to avoid the evil. I don't even know if humans are naturally evil or if they learn it. The "but babies are not evil" thing doesn't works to prove that humans are not naturally evil, because maybe we are but that evil grows up with us like a little monster, like a fetus. A harmless little bitch.
LOVE ME, PLEASE FUCKING LOVE ME. I feel so tired. I need to be loveless, I need it but I don't want it because I am not a fucking sociopath. I NEED IT I NEED IT I NEED IT. BUT I feel like I want love, everyone wants love specially after watching 500 days of Summer. Sometimes I just feel that I will live my whole live loveless, and that is very possible
MILK MY BODY,
LIGHT MY FIRE,
LOVE ME FOREVER,
AND I'LL BE QUIET,
I'LL BE STAIN,
KISSING JENNIFER'S BODY,
ON HER PIECES,
I'LL BE PISCES,
I DRINK ASHES,
GOT HIGH WITH FLASHES,
I'M SICK OR TRYING,
DON'T KNOW THAT I'M TALKING.