Basically, I've developed depression, anxiety and a bunch of stress all over the years. I've developed a self-destructive behavior and emotional dependence, self-harm and that kind of shit. I haven't kill myself yet only because I have a few reasons to be alive, and also because I am afraid. I am afraid of what comes next. I was sure I will go nowhere, I would be sure about my decision. Oh God, my scars hurt a lot, my stomach hurts with the scars, I'm alone and I have to pee. I. Wish. You. Were. Here. 

I don't want to hurt you, I love you. I don't want to kill you with this hammer, I love you. If you gonna cut yourself, remember that no one actually cares.