I have menstrual cramps, I can't fucking write on this shit so I will say what I have to say later. I am not dead, not yet. If I stop writing, it's because I killed myself (to be honest I don't think I can kill myself without writing something about it in here), someone killed me or I died.
Last night I had this weird dream with my bird Polly. According to my dream, I put him in a small cage like 1 month ago and I forgot he was there. So I found the cage and I thought I was going to find his corpse but I opened the cage and it was filled with salt,and Polly was there, sleeping, alive. He woke up and came to me, and I felt so happy. He was ok so everything was fine. I still miss him a lot, although he was a bird I love him so much. I don't think that it's hard for me to love people, except when they hurt me enough to make me sick.
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