I want to be an addict. I don't want to be alive, in the reality. I just want to hide in the deepest corner of me. I just want to beat me outta me.  I can't I just can't be here anymore. I need to get out of this cage and live in another. Like I don't care if it's gray or grey. I can't escape  right now so I don't know what to do. I need help.