Wednesday, May 1, 2013

So Johnny said "And I love her"

I tried LSD. Last saturday. I was walking normally and then I started to laugh. I was out of me, like still doing the things I was supposed to do (such as walking and breathing) but I wasn't there, I was not inside of me anymore. However, it wasn't a good feeling. The time became slow as fuck, so slow that maybe I was walking for hours. He was in my mind the whole time. I wouldn't stop thinking about him except when I had to keep myself in my body, when I needed to concentrate in me otherwise I would have lost myself.
We went somewhere close to his house to get the LSD. When she said he lived around that place I felt something in my legs, like I was going to fall because of the emotion. I've never felt something like that before. On sunday morning, April 27th of 2013, I was still feeling weird and also tired after a sleepless night at her house. So I left and I got home, still feeling weird. That's when I called him but he didn't answer. But then he called me. "Marry me" I said. "What?" he said. "Marry me" I said again. "Okay..." he said. Then I said "hey. I like you". He said it was okay, I asked if it was awkward but he said it was normal. I asked if he was going to still talk to me and he said yes, then he asked if I was going to keep talking to him. I must remind you that I was still feeling weird so sometimes they would say something I wouldn't understand it. I wonder what was he thinking when I told him. I wonder what does he think about me now. I wonder if I'm something.
He's going to an all-boys school. I'm glad because this means there are less possibilities that he can touch someone else's boobs.
I've been cutting my wrist lately. Not deep though.

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