Aloha from Hawaii, kisses from New York

I masturbated until my clit went numb. Then I got a headache. I can't count the number of orgasms. My belly started to hurt. I felt how my uterus contracted. How does it feel to have a piece of meat between your legs, inside of you? Can you feel its warmth? I can hear my own love buzz. By "love buzz" he knew I meant vibrator. You've found my porn stash! Oh, great, the perv is here again! And that sucks because my pussy still hurts. It takes me 10 minutes to smoke. Creating an habit takes ten weeks. I'm ugly and fat yet people still ask me to fuck them. "No, darling, don't suck my dick", they say; "I'll please you, because I'm a virgin".

Dear Boddah

I don't have a craving. I mean it doesn't really cause me anxiety or anything but it just would be so good to cut myself again. I'm doing okay though. This morning I was feeling bad. So I prayed my awkwardness away. It worked. God may be very merciful to me although I'm a little worthless bitch. I'm sorry for talking like this, Boddah. I miss you so much. I really do. You used to be happy. We used to be happy. Together. We would be together all the time and talk about pointless and childish stuff and we would watch TV together until I had to go to bed and you had to go back home. Don't you miss that? Don't you miss being happy? Don't you miss me? I miss you so much. We used to be together and it seemed like an endless fantasy when I was a kid. One year was an eternity and so my childhood seemed to be a long dream. Like my life. Please, please talk to me. I miss you. 

Last night I had a dream about showing my boobs. I was in my school. And then I went to my classroom and took off my shirt and there were like 2 guys there. Later when I noticed people were coming in so I put it on again. A guy came in and I said to another guy who saw my tits that I showed my boobs. The guy who came in said "I wanted to see them!". That's when I found out he was like in love with my tits and the whole time he wanted to see them. I must say he did, once. Last year. Later we were doing this exam thing and I was in a chair that was taller than my classmates' chairs. The teacher didn't give me the exam (I noticed how my best friend's table didn't have a sheet either) so I asked for one sheet and my chair started to fall. So I moved my chair next to my best friend's. I don't even know how it happened but then his hand was in my shirt, touching my boob. I was not wearing a bra. It felt very very real, and intense, more than how it feels in real life. I was like "what..." and he said "It's good to lose something". I'm sure he was talking about his virginity... virginity on touching boobs. However, I took his hand and made it touch me even more. And I loved it because it was my best friend touching me It would be pretty cool if it happened in real life. 

I like it I'm not gonna crack, I miss you I'm not gonna crack, I love you I'm not gonna crack, I killed you I'm not gonna crack. 

Love, me.